by John Laney
Fighting, shouting, and battling with your mate can kill off your relationship. Is there any relationship advice you can use to put a stop to this fast?There is, and it can be fun. However, before we get into that, it's important to see that conflict is normal in healthy relationships. Two adults with different viewpoints and needs will argue from time to time. It's gonna happen.And, there is lots you can do about learning to fight fair, and how to resolve conflict quickly, and how to get both of your needs met in a relationship. But very little has been said about how to stop fighting at the source. Is there a way to stop conflict before it arises?Many times, yes! A study done on couples found this:Play can stop fighting at the source. The more play in your relationship, the less arguing.Does that sound obvious or what? The more the two of you play together, the less you will tend to have conflict about all the little things. And the better you will deal with other differences that do arise. It's almost too simple, isn't it? When you "play" with your mate, you will be less irritable and less likely to get upset about all the problems that can arise in a relationship.So some powerful relationship advice is to put more play back into your time with your mate. The more play you add back in, the more relationship help you are giving yourself. You'll notice less fighting and conflict.So consider this question if you want to stop conflict at the source: How much do you play with your mate now? What do you both do together that you really enjoy? And, how frequently do you do things together that you both have a good time with?We play a lot together in the beginning of the relationship. We go to dinner, movies, whatever. There are all sorts of activities we enjoy doing together. But as life goes on, we get caught up in the obligations of job and kids and bills and we can stop playing together and having much fun with our partner. And the less play, the more we see a corresponding rise in arguing and conflict.The play is gone, leaving irritation and upset.So if you've stopped playing much in your relationship, you should have already noticed you have a lot more disagreements and battles. Its normal. To make it less normal, here's some fun relationship advice: go back to adding more play. Spend more quality "not quantity" of time together doing things you both enjoy. One date night a week can make a difference. When you do this, you'll notice that it can be a very real and very fun way to stop fighting at the source.Its a powerful way to begin to deal with conflict differently.
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